The Scarpetta Phenomenon

Ok, so I said I wasn't writing tonight and I'm not. I'm blogging. There's a difference. Really.

As I was driving tonight, I realized why the scene I wrote today bothered me so much. It's still bothering me in fact. It's because in it, I basically half-destroyed my main character. I call it the Scarpetta phenomenon. I used to love the Kay Scarpetta books by Patricia Cornwall. The series starts with a strong, powerful, confident leading lady. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. She was smart, pretty, independent, strong. Unfortunately, for reasons unknown, over the course of about six books, she disintigrated into this sniveling, unsure, idiotic child who couldn't make a single decision for herself. I hated it. I stopped reading the books, sold the ones I already owned. It was maddening.

So I deserve to be flogged, right? Well, I hope not. See, while I may have half-destroyed Emily, I rebuild her steadily over the next four chapters. She's a strong, confident, kick-ass federal agent. She goes through some pretty severe emotional crap, but she comes through it stronger than ever before.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll get to why this shook me. I've spent a lot of time the past few months getting to know my characters. They mean something to me. Making my heroine go through what I made her go through was like ripping out the heart of a close friend. It was hard, painful, and an experience I wouldn't choose to repeat. But it's done, and while I know I'll have to edit that chapter again before too long, I know how it all turns out in the end and I can deal with it.